2012 was a year of grief and sadness; but also, a year of renewal and rebirth.
Our loss happened so late in 2011 that it’s hard sometimes to remember it wasn’t this year. However, I certainly did all of my grieving and healing in 2012. On new years eve 2011, I was so sad to leave behind the year that I was pregnant with my precious angel Robert William. I cried because of everything we were leaving behind, but also because of the tough year I knew we were in store for.
This year taught me many things: who I can rely on, how to be strong, how to take care of myself, how to love deeper, how to appreciate more, and how to let myself look forward to things again despite the fear I carry. It was definitely a year of growth and learning, and as they say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is [sometimes painfully] true!
In July we completed our IVF cycle and successfully transferred embryos into our gestational carrier, Kristen. Waiting now for our precious Liam’s arrival, we are reminded of the part of the year that our grief turned to hope.
So here we are, on the eve of a new year once again. This time there will be no tears shed, for the last year is one that I am eager to leave behind! We have much to look forward to, be thankful for, and plan our dreams around. My resolution for this new year? I resolve to let myself look forward to things without so much fear of the “possible”, to pray more (for myself and others), and to stick to my goals for myself and our family. So long, 2012 – let’s all pray for a SAFE and healthy 2013 for everyone!!
Here’s a look at Kristen’s beautiful belly on the last few days of 2012!
Lots of love and wishes for you – a Happy New Year!